Treva: [LINK] “Is this something to do with sex?” “Ha! Far from it, Jen!”
Woman DM needed for D&D based Adult Bachelor Party
Description: Looking for a woman with Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (specifically 3.0 or 3.5 editions) to run a game. The event is for a Bachelor Party and the “future husband to be” would prefer if the DM could be topless. With that said, I ensure you that nothing else is expect of you other than an exciting adventure.
Dungeons and Dragons Coloring Book. Follow the link to get all the pages! Color them!!
Ha! Far from it, Jen.
I played Dungeons and Dragons…once. One night a long, long time ago I ended up at the house of a friend of a co-worker. The girl that lived there, I guess, was pretty into D&D because it was the first form of entertainment offered. Honestly, I was excited, because I love games and dragons and I’d never had those two loves intersect before. It went down hill almost immediately, or rather, it went down dungeon.
I don’t remember if we got to pick what creatures we were? I know I was something small like an elf, or a gnome or a hobbit or a fraggle. What I do remember is that we were given scraps of paper and and a few moments to write down things that we would carry with us if we were going on a long adventure. I wrote down:
a key, rope, bread, pouch of coins, book, knife
the dungeon master is reading a story and I realize that our characters are standing in front of a locked door. I have no idea if I should say something? But it really seems like I should say something.
“I have a key.” the dungeon master drones on. ” I HAVE A KEY.” Everyone is looking at me.
One of my best friends leans over and looks at my scrap of paper, “she totally wrote down key.”
The dungeon master is scowling at me. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to say anything.
DM: “Do you wish to use the key?”
me: “Yeah, SURE, youbetcha!” (dialect of the North Dakotashire Dwarfs)
the dungeon girl rolls something and says “the key works but, vanishes never ever ever to be used again, ever.” or something like that.
I was quiet for awhile after that but, we all ended up in this pub, waiting for some wizard to helps us with something and the wizard finally shows up and he’s just going on and on and on. So I say,
“Look, are you going to help us or not?”
oh wait, I remember what D&D creature I was - impatient smurf.
Dungeon Master: “let’s roll the dice to see if the wizard kills you, where you sit, for your impudence.” (is the DM supposed to show genuine disappointment when impudent smurf isn’t smote by long-winded wizard?)
I’m pretty sure I’m pissing off the dungeon master. This can’t be good. I realize I don’t care.
My memories are hazy about how the game ended but I’m pretty sure I was banished from the kingdom by the dungeon master and carted off by my elven friends while shrieking ‘where the hell are the dragons?’
Anyway, Moss is right, it was far from sex.
I would totally play again but I’m pretty sure I have a life-long world-wide ban.
I’m just going to reblog this again it’s probably the best thing I’ll ever write.
what is this and why did I type it on my phone
the more important question is- why haven’t you typed more and added pictures?
Hand-Drawn D&D Maps by David McClouth become art.
Check out the contents of a manila envelope full of adventures and maps made by David McClouth in the early 80s. Entire gallery up on Plagmada.
jennhoney replied to your post: It is too true thoughI want to play some sort of dungeon-y dragon-y game and be jenn the enabler, and I just enable the dirty, War about to break out? nah, jenn the enabler stopped by and the battlefield is all confusing emotions and awkward boners.
jennhoney replied to your post: It is too true thoughI wonder what my outfit would be? It’s all about the outfit. I wonder what species I would be? I was only ever allowed to play D&D once, I wonder why?
it turns out jennhoney the enabler, wears clothes similar to mine and appears to be human, same levels of evil as me, just cuter.