The Honey Pot

It’s so beautiful out.

the snow and stars are glittering.

walking the groomed neighborhood sidewalks is

like walking in a SNOW MAZE.

I want to walk all night.

I mean, I’m in bed because I’m exhausted but, if you come over I’ll totally search for the MINOTAUR with you.

Wow. It’s magical!

Wow. It’s magical!

how to get maximum enjoyment of the film Minotaur:
come to my house
put the DVD in the player
immediately leave the room
get far enough away that we can just barely hear the film.
I will play the best gifs from the film while we build a maze
we can act out our own film with minotaur and Tom Hardy toys
or you can quietly read while I make waffles
get drunk eat waffles
I will yell “MINOTAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a lot. don’t be alarmed.

how to get maximum enjoyment of the film Minotaur:

  • come to my house
  • put the DVD in the player
  • immediately leave the room
  • get far enough away that we can just barely hear the film.
  • I will play the best gifs from the film while we build a maze
  • we can act out our own film with minotaur and Tom Hardy toys
  • or you can quietly read while I make waffles
  • get drunk eat waffles
  • I will yell “MINOTAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a lot. don’t be alarmed.
I KNOW, RIGHT?!?

I KNOW, RIGHT?!?

(Source: coffeepizzatentacles)

texnessa:

atlasobscura:

howsyrface:

Longleat Hedge Maze at Longleat House (via Atlas Obscura).

The longest hedge maze in the world, and to quote Atlas Obscura’s description:

The land is currently owned by the 7th Marquess of Bath, Alexander Thynn, known primarily for his eccentric lifestyle, numerous mistresses, and the erotic murals he has painted all over the residential portion of the house. He is also a great lover of mazes, and has added the hedge maze, as well as three other smaller garden mazes: the Lunar labyrinth, the Sun Maze, King Arthur’s maze, and the Love Labyrinth.
F**k Downton Abbey, what is the upstairs/downstairs situation like at this house? PUNS ENCOURAGED AS ANSWERS. OF COURSE.

Just a guess, but we bet the overlap between Obscuraphiles and Downton Abbey fans is not insubstantial… 

Visit the Longleat House Hedge Maze on Atlas Obscura

As kids, me and my brothers would BEG to visit Longleat on summer vacations to visit the grandparents. The house was gloomy and we were too young to appreciate the art but damn did they have a fine drive thru zoo and maze!

(I walk into a room where people are watching a pumpkin carving competition)

guy on TV: well as an actor that has actually been in a movie called Minotaur…

me: *gasp* I’ve seen a movie called Minotaur… IS THAT CANDYMAN? *~google~* IT IS CANDYMAN! He was in Minotaur! UGH IT’S JUST TERRIBLE. The best way to watch it is from an adjacent room. hahahahaha.*crumple in laughter* It’s so awful. It’s a favorite. I love it. I watched it because Tom Hardy is in it. *wipes away tears*. Tony Todd is a really lovely pumpkin carving judge.

me: OHMAN. this is the best thing that has happened in awhile. I needed this. UGH. this has been a really good laugh. I’m going to go now. Giggle about minotaurs elsewhere.

(I walk out of room of confused people watching me walk out of the room)

image

I was in a sunflower and maize maze.

"I have high hopes for your maze’s lushness"

- a text from Jules

leupagus:

dadurl:

g33kologie:

Some Lady Is Cranking Out Dinosaur Romance Novels

Fucking finally

PAGING CTHONICAL

I never understand these covers. Like, shouldn’t the beasts be the ones that are sexualized? Can we at least get a bow tie on that Velociraptor?

leupagus:

dadurl:

g33kologie:

Some Lady Is Cranking Out Dinosaur Romance Novels

Fucking finally

PAGING CTHONICAL

I never understand these covers. Like, shouldn’t the beasts be the ones that are sexualized? Can we at least get a bow tie on that Velociraptor?

(via runeybadger)

heyfunniest:

Awesome Dads.

(Source: elfacker, via existentialexigency)