The Honey Pot

lose the mask or don’t, whatevery

lose the mask or don’t, whatevery

she was really excited about the dinner she cooked

AuntMurble: I used a ~~~~ recipe.

me: I’m not sure what that is? Are you chef name dropping right now?

AuntMurble: haha YES! *excitedly explains about chef*

me: hmmm. I don’t think I know that one. This name dropping has been wasted on me but, everything is delicious.

later I’m clearing dishes and I see the recipes that she used and a photo spread of the Chef.

me: oh. ~well hello there~ Mr. Chef!

AuntMurble: I like to keep a picture of him in the kitchen.

me: He is attractive. He looks like he might be younger than me…

AuntMurble: ugh.

me: all I’m going to say is “you go girl!” , “get on that!”, “I wanna call him UncleChef!”

AuntMurble: oh. OKAY!

Soap Opera that has been playing at this time in the living room nearly everyday for the past 2 and a half years.

UncleDucey: are you watching this?

me: Nooooooo.

me: when you made that pot of coffee…did you only make like, one cup?

AuntMurble: I’M SO SORRY!!! I’M SO SELFISH!!! *~hahahahaha!~* what is wrong with me?

me: pffft. okay…I guess I’ll make another pot.

a few brewed minutes later. as I’m walking up the stairs to sit with Jazz.

me: I made a tablespoon of coffee.

AuntMurble: HA!HAHA!HA!HA! I hope it’s strong and delicious!

me: It’s the most amazing coffee I’ve ever had. I’m sorry there isn’t enough to share.

no. I made a full pot. enjoy.

me: do you want eggs?

UncleDucey: nah…I’ll have one!

me: do you want it overeasy or…

UncleDucey: slap it in the face!

me: …you want the yoke busted?

UncleDucey: YEAH

not gonna lie I was hostile during the entire conversation.

AuntMurble: the doctor said everything looks good he just heals slowly. He has another appointment…in a month and she mentioned using a drop of saline solution.

me: I don’t know what that means. Do I use saline solution instead of the soap and water that I was told to use last time? do I flush the area or just wipe?

AuntMurble: I think she just put a drop on the bandage.

me: I don’t know if that makes¬† sense. *googles saline solution*

AuntMurble: He mentioned the soap and water and the doctor said, “oh that’s fine!”¬† so you could probably just keep doing that.

me: I might.

AuntMurble: I can take over the bandages, Jennifer.

me: *shakes head for long time as words get stuck in brain* no. that doesn’t resolve ANYTHING. (and I don’t say this but, would likely cause problems. there are many reasons why I’m in charge of this stuff)

AuntMurble: Are you going to your dad’s when he is out of town?

me: (I haven’t mentioned this to her)…I don’t know? probably not.

AuntMurble: WHY?!?

me: because UncleDucey needs bandages for 30 more days. and sitting at my dad’s house (in the middle of nowhere with no car) for a few days isn’t what I need.

AuntMurble: I’ll take over the bandages.

me: no. my dad’s trip is in 20 days. we don’t even need to talk about this right now. I am having a really hard day.

a few days ago

me: hey. I just want you to know. When you take Ducey for his appointment. They might say that he needs more bandaging time.

AuntMurble: *~worried~*

me: it’s healing, it’s small, but the wound is still really deep. unless they do something magical to it at the hospital; I think I have to keep packing it for awhile longer. I just wanted you to know I’m prepared for that. I won’t freak out like last time. I just thought I was done last time and could focus on Jazz and other things. I didn’t want you to be surprised when his doctor tells you and then dread telling me.

AuntMurble: okay. thank you.

Murble arrives home and starts to tell me what feels like will be a long story.

me: okay. hold on a sec. I have to pee. can you please watch Jazz?

I start to walk upstairs

AuntMurble: Sure! oh Jazz you are driving Jennifer crazy.

me: no she’s not.

Weird. I was fine for hours and now I have this sudden urgent need to breathe fire.

AuntMurble: are you going to be able to mail a few letters for me?

Me: we can do it right now as we are driving across town. Because. Otherwise. NO.

AuntMuble: great!

On Saturday I was going to write a whole thing about the Murble and me dynamic. How she has to insert herself into all situations, things that have nothing to do with her, that she wants no part of and/or can’t do. (Bandaging wounds is a good example.) How it always makes me angry and frustrated. How I very much want to change my reaction because she won’t change her behavior.

Anyway. on Saturday, I didn’t have time to write that post and I’ve been opening up my drafts and seeing the sentence that I said to make her go away

me: It’s weird that you are clapping.

and it’s been making me laugh. so there’s that. Our people are not cheerleaders and we don’t know what to do with a cheer. It was weird that she was clapping.

This morning I noticed her hovering and tried to nip it in the bud before I changed bandages.

me: Move along Looky Loo this isn’t a show.

AuntMurble: gosh… now I feel bad (from kitchen) and it’s all your fault!

me: ha. You’re Welcome!

AuntMurble: Thank Me!